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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27977808">If Only</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devils_Malady/pseuds/Devils_Malady'>Devils_Malady</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Assassin's Creed - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:33:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,136</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27977808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devils_Malady/pseuds/Devils_Malady</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Ravensthorpe, before Sigurd returned, Randvi had to come to terms with her feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eivor/Randvi (Assassin's Creed)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>166</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If Only</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi.<br/>I just keep thinking about these two. And then little scenarios, like this, pop into my head. What is going on in their heads at a certain moment?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> There were lips on her neck, hot breath ghosting over her skin. A gasp escapes her throat, as she is lifted by the back of her thighs, tightening her legs around the other person as she is set on the edge of a table in the longhouse.  She feels like she is on fire as she tries to get even closer. Pieces of clothing begin to fall to the floor, allowing skin to skin contact. She lets out a satisfied sigh at the feeling and it is met with a throaty chuckle </em>. </p><p>
  <em> "Randvi." Her vision swims, as she turns her face to meet the eyes of her lover. Deep blue peers back before the eyes flutter closed, leaning to catch her lips. When her lungs burned for air and they separated, her lover assailed her neck again with lips, tongue, and teeth. Randvi arched into the touch. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Oh, Eivor." Randvi spoke her lover's name, reverently, like a prayer to the Gods. Eivor nipped at her collarbone illiciting a breathy moan. As Eivor begins to move lower, she kisses a line back up the column of Randvi's neck. As their lips were a breadth away, a bright light filled Randvi's vision as everything around her, faded away. </em>
</p><hr/><p>Randvi awoke from her extremely pleasant dream with an uncomfortable, but familiar, wetness between her thighs. It wasn't the first dream she had like this and certainly not the first with her sister-in-law. She had never had a dream like this about her husband but they were practically strangers at this point. She didn't know him well enough to dream of him. </p><p>Randvi spent far more time with her husband's younger sister, Eivor. Her husband had been away for nearly two years. They had been married for almost 3. What sort of husband leaves his beautiful, young wife alone? She had long moved past that sting of rejection.</p><p>At first she wondered what she had done wrong, to make him leave as he did. But while he roamed far and wide, Eivor filled an emotional need for friendship and affection. She thought it was only a platonic affection between them, but once the dreams began, she couldn't deny the feelings anymore.</p><p>She was attracted to the one person she shouldn't be. Eivor was loyal and steadfast to her people, but especially to her brother. They were bound by their honor. Randvi admired their bond, truly. It reminded her of her own sister, Thora, and how much she dearly missed her. She had written her, confiding her feelings.</p><p>
  <em> Sister- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No woman can live without a man and call herself married. You have honored the family with this union but live without reward or comfort. </em>
</p><p>That wasn't entirely true. She found knowing Eivor had become a comfort and a punishment. Randvi longed to have Eivor as she had in her dreams. But she was beginning to wonder if the dreams weren't nightmares to torment her with what she couldn't have.</p><p>
  <em> If your husband seeks his happiness at sea, look to your own at home. If your days are long and cold, you can find some other man-- or woman-- to warm your bed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> -Thora </em>
</p><p>Randvi stared at the letter from her sister for what felt like weeks. A storm raging in her mind and body. She supposed she could find another clan member who could be discreet but she knew she would be picturing the Wolf-Kissed.</p><p>She was broken from her thoughts when a horn bellowed from a watch tower. Looking out of the longhouse, she saw the colors of Eivor's ship gliding through the fjord. Randvi moved to meet the returning raiders at the dock. They had been gone a month, not too much longer than normal for close raids on smaller settlements, but then word had reached Fornburg of their attack on one of Kjotve's outposts. Styrbjorn had raged through the longhouse for days after the scout had returned. </p><p>Randvi had tried to assuage his anger but he still carried on, even after he had 'calmed'. When the days had dragged on, she could see the fear behind his eyes. The fear that he had lost both his son and now his daughter.</p><p>So when Eivor hopped onto the dock, looking like Helheim had spat her back out, but otherwise alive, she had to distract herself before she kissed Eivor in relief that she had returned home, whole.</p><p>"We thought we had lost you, Eivor. For good this time."</p><p>"A warm welcome as always, Randvi." Eivor's smile was crooked, like the scar that crossed over her mouth and cheek. A smile that was genuinely warm and gladdened to see Randvi. Nothing like the smile her <em> husband </em> gave her when he had been around.</p><p>"You look like reddened shit. What happened?"</p><p>"Nothing to crow about, except to say the men who delayed us are dead. And how are you?"</p><p>"Well enough. Though I have spent many tiresome days calming the rages of our king. He is not happy with you."</p><p>"I expected as much." A smirk pulled at her lips. That <em> infuriating  </em> smirk that Randvi wanted to kiss off of her. "And what of Sigurd? Has he returned from his raids?" Eivors eyes lit up, her face hopeful. <em> Of course she missed her brother. </em>A pang of something foreign pierced Randvi's heart. She wished Eivor's face lit up that way when she saw her.</p><p>Randvi couldn't hide her darkening expression well enough, but if Eivor noticed, she had the good grace not to say anything. "My husband should be home today." It came out brittle and hollow, undeniably sad. Not the tone of a woman awaiting her husband. "The last we heard, he was approaching Stavanger."</p><p>"Good to hear. We have need of his courage."</p><p>"Sigurd will not save you from his father's wrath, Eivor. You should know that by now." Dag interjected as we walked by with a small crate of goods. The fact that Dag never referred to Eivor as Sigurd's sister or Styrbjorn's daughter, rubbed at Randvi as if he were petting a cat the wrong way. </p><p>She frowned. "Did your raid not go as planned?"</p><p>Eivor showed Randvi Varin's axe but her mood now seemed odd, distant even. She spoke of going to see Valka to help make sense of her maelstrom of feelings. </p><p>Randvi watched Eivor leave and she wondered if Valka had a potion to help Randvi forget about her feelings. She couldn't continue each day hurting like this. But something had to change. Never in all of Randvi's mind had she considered Eivor would love her in return. </p><p>If only Randvi knew how Eivor's heart yearned for her. If Randvi had known, she would have probably kissed Eivor on one of their numerous midnights, sitting on the dock, stargazing together.</p><p> </p><p>If only they knew.</p><p>
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